![]() I wish I could tell you that I found lynfect and interviewed him to reflect on his viral infamy 10 years later. I hate and love the box, just as I hate and love myself.” He said it best himself: “I will never be rid of my need for it. He is cumbox Lady Macbeth desperately trying to wash the splooge from his hands. And finally, his inability to free himself - even with fire - from the hideous monster that he’d created. His remorse and disgust at what he had created. His broken promises to himself that he’ll throw it away. There’s Shakespearian drama to it: His initial mortal sin of sloth, which led him to use the box. It is a creation story “I have created life,” lynfect writes in an update, noting the box has begun to mold. It isn’t just a simple “I jizzed in a box” story like other cumjars. In the end, what we are seeing is not cum in a box, but the suggestion of cum in a box, and then its eradication by fire.Īnd then there is the telling of the tale, the frank and unexpected throwaway admission that quickly escalates into a box of horrors beneath his bed. And then there is the actual semen, which isn’t really visible because of lynfect’s attempts to burn it. There is the thing that looks like a banana peel, but clearly isn’t (it’s the paper wrapping that came with the shoes). There is the vast landscape of spatter stains, the moisture-wrinkled cardboard. You’re never quite sure what you’re looking at - even upon close inspection. The photos of the box are simultaneously inscrutable and captivating, visually. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly why it’s like trying to explain why a Mozart symphony sounds better than Salieri what distinguishes the genius of a Jackson Pollock from a splatter painting my 5-year-old made. The 4channer who collected semen in a jar containing a My Little Pony figurine (warning: images exactly described) or the 2020 Minion cumjar project (you know what you’re getting into if you click this) are perhaps even more outrageous.īut lynfect’s cumbox was different, singularly unique. Arguably, the Reddit cumboxers (warning: NSFW link) are more substantially disgusting, since you can really see the semen, as are the crustpanties (warning: again, NSFW). There is a long and storied tradition of young men on message boards like Reddit or 4chan showing off all manner of seminal fluid-filled vessels. Lynfect was hardly the first person to talk on the internet about collecting his semen in an unexpected receptacle. That’s pretty much it.īecause people were asking, my greatest shame. It also has some drenched papers stuck to it. Turns out burning cum smells awful, so I had to spray it with a deodorant body spray just to get the old smell of burnt cum away. When I lit it on fire, it was too damp due to the cum that it simply sizzled and didn't manage to actually lite up. It smells atrocious, and I tried to burn it once. I’ve had it for two or three years now I think, so it has a fair amount of cum. It’s a shoebox, or at least once was, and whenever I masturbate I cum into it. When pressed by other redditors, he went on: Thousands of comments describing the full breadth of the human condition flooded in, but one comment by user u/lynfect stood out - not for the actual secret, which was about stealing cash from a family member after a funeral, but for a throwaway comment attached to it. In early May 2012, Reddit history was made with an offhanded answer to a simple question: “ What’s a secret that could ruin you if it got out?”
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